About the author
Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor is a clinical psychologist and neuroscientist at the University of Arizona, where she leads the Grief, Loss and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab. She has spent her career studying what grief does to the brain and body — and she writes about it in plain words, not lecture-hall words.
Why I recommend it
Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor is a neuroscientist who studies grief, and in this book she explains what actually happens in your brain after a devastating loss — including why you keep searching for the person who died, why concentration falls apart, and why grieving takes far longer than the world expects.
For me this book did something no other did: it turned 'what is wrong with me?' into 'oh — that's my brain doing what brains do.' Readers and grief counselors alike praise it for being compassionate as well as scientific.
Read it slowly, a chapter at a time. It pairs naturally with her follow-up, The Grieving Body — one for your mind, one for your body.
A gentle reading plan
No deadlines. Skip a week whenever you need to.
- Week 1Read the introduction and the first chapter only. Underline any line where you think, “that's me.”
- Week 2Try one chapter over two sittings. If concentrating feels difficult, stop and return when you feel ready.
- Week 3Keep going one chapter at a time. After each one, write one sentence in your journal: what made sense today?
- Week 4Continue at your own pace, or revisit the lines you marked. There is no need to finish this week.
See it on Amazon
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