About the author
Megan Devine is a psychotherapist and grief advocate. Her partner Matt drowned in 2009, and when she found that her own training didn't match what she was living, she started Refuge in Grief to support people the way she wished she had been supported.
Why I recommend it
Megan Devine is a psychotherapist who lost her own partner, and she wrote this book for everyone who is tired of being told to move on. Her starting point is simple: there is nothing wrong with grief — it is love in its most painful, honest form.
This is the one for the days when well-meaning advice ('stay strong', 'time heals') makes things worse. Instead of pushing you back to a 'normal' life, it shows how to build a life alongside your grief, with practical help for sleep, stress and the hardest hours.
Read it when you want someone to stop trying to fix you and simply sit beside you. It sits honestly beside The Grieving Brain and The Grieving Body — this one for the heart, those two for the mind and body.
A gentle reading plan
No deadlines. Skip a week whenever you need to.
- Week 1Read the first part slowly. Let yourself feel angry or relieved at what she says about “moving on” — both are fine.
- Week 2Read a few pages before bed instead of scrolling. Mark any page you'd like someone in your life to read.
- Week 3Try one of her practical exercises for stress or sleep. Write down how it went, even if it didn't help.
- Week 4Keep reading or revisit a page that helped. Keep it nearby if you want to return to it, without a deadline to finish.
See it on Amazon
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases — at no extra cost to you. Prices and options change, so the Amazon page shows you the current choices. The scene above combines a photo of my own book cover with an AI-created woman and setting.